...In Which Harry Isn't Human

(The scene: Philosophy class, and the group are discussing their definitions of death - stuff gets complicated.)

Harry: (Well known for saying things in philosophy that mess with our heads and give Cathy an aneurysm) I think that death is when no longer think rationally or are conscious.

(Much whispering about the problem of sleep between Ab and Cathy)
Ab: Well if that's true Harry, I die every night!
(Class laugh)


(Still in philosophy)

Harry: (In the midst of a discussion about humanity, spawned from his previous statement) Well I don't believe I'm human.
Cathy: (Incredulous) Wha... how can you not believe you're human?
Harry: Because I'm not.
(Class mutterings about this)
Harry: It's just... 'human' is so cliche!

Ah Harry, it just wouldn't be the same without him making us bang our heads against the table.

Snipets From the Philosophy Conference

(The scene: Bus back from the Cambridge philosophy conference, and Ab, Cathy and Abi are chatting before later being sucked into a political poppy discussion.)

Ab: It's really weird, but at the moment, everyone in my family's feet are a size 8.
Cathy: (Interested) Oh really? What size are yours then?
Ab: (Pause, eyes flicker from side to side) 8.
Cathy: (Pause. Gets it.)
(Everyone laughs)


(The scene: At the awesome philosophy conference and Peter Vardy (world renowned philosopher and great speaker) is giving the lecture. He is just discussing whether, if humans were immortal, we would be able to give up our immortality.)

Vardy: (Uses a picture of Aragorn and Awen from 'Lord of the Rings' to illustrate his point) You see, this woman (gestures to Awen) was able to give up her elvin immortality because she loves this woman (gestures to Aragorn).
(Ab and Abi silently crack-up due to the gender mix-up and gaying up of LOTR.)
(No-one else in the room appears to have noticed.)

How To Time Travel

Lots of sci-fi films, books and TV shows seem to centre around the idea of time travel (see Doctor Who for example), and they either rely on science hearsay (such as wormholes) or make something obscure up to explain how it actually happens. However, what is repeatedly overlooked is the sort of time travel that we achieve at least once every year.

What I'm talking about is putting the clocks back an hour, like we did yesterday/today(?). Think about it; it reaches the midnight of October 30th and the time suddenly jumps back an hour, allowing all humans to relive the 11th hour (ok, 23rd hour) free of charge and black holes. Therefore, if you make any mistakes in that hour, you get the opportunity to go back and correct them, and if someone asks what you're doing, just say the hour you messed up in technically has been replaced. I love that idea of messing with time!

Other ways to time travel in the modern world are:

1. Fly to a country that has a different time zone to yours, so you can experience time travel from the comfort (or 'comfort' if it's EasyJet) of an aeroplane seat, and not even feel different when you cross over the various time boundaries.
2. Post a package/letter to Australia, but tell the Post Office staff to send it to the future.
3. Be present when the clocks are put forward in Spring. It always annoys me how an hour is stolen from my life then, but I'm usually asleep so don't even notice.
4. I suppose you could argue that every moment you are alive is a form of time travel since we are continually progressing forward in time, so just by reading this, you have gone all Dr Who minus the Tardis!

If you have any more time related ideas, share them in the comments section where you don't need a google/blogger account or to be signed in to anything. Time is such a wide and fascinating concept, that I'll never do it justice in one post!

Holy As Thou Art

Have you ever noticed that the countries where religion is most prevelent are usualy the countries with the most problems? (I'm excluding communist/facist countries in this as taking away or giving people religion forcefully obviously causes massive problems.) So, what's up with that? I'll give you a brief summery of my thoughts on the matter, and, as always, if you disagree, comment and share you point of view!

First up, maybe it's because there are so many agnostics and atheists in 'western' (excluding Ireland cos we allknow the Christian civil war rubbish continuing to happen there) countries? On a moral ground, I find the As to be generally more accepting of other people's choices, and the state choices. This is not to say that there are not many ignorant As - there are millions. However, generally they do not have as many matching objections to laws, wars, other beliefs relating to religion, which leads to better co-operation in society and makes it easier for a government to maintain control. I'm not saying that it makes the countries any better because those 'flexible morals' can lead to increased promiscuity for example, but more open and less clashing societies at least.

Or maybe we should thank the dying of fundementalist religious followers here in the west. They're still out there, but in nowhere near as many numbers as the past. Instead, liberal religious members are the main driving force, and these people are completely embracing and accepting of things that used to be hated, such as homosexuality and other religions. I think tolerance has a lot to do with having a functioning society, and places like Afganhistan and Israel lack that.

Or, you know, it could have nothing to do with religion at all!

Why You Should Judge a Book By its Cover

Y'know that phrase, 'never judge a book by its cover' right? Well I disagree. There are, in fact, many merits to judging a book by it's cover.

1. If you didn't judge a book by its cover, it would take ages and ages to pick out a book to buy/borrow from the library as you'd have to go through every single book in order to decide on one, rather than just picking out the ones with interesting covers.
2. Also, if we're counting the whole cover, then you wouldn't be allowed to pick books according to titles, authors and the blurbs, which begs the question 'how would you actually pick a book ever?'. I suppose you'd just have to read every single book once, then read the good ones several times. Now reading all books has its good points, but there isn't enough time for that in life, and lots of books are rubbish anyway (case study: Mills & Boon).
3. Avoiding books with dislikeable covers saves you from reading books that aren't your style - par example, if you know you hate sci-fi, chances are you wouldn't enjoy a book with some form of alien on the cover, or if romance makes you sick then reading a book with a soppy picture of some couple on the front would probably give you an aneurysm!
4. I would never have had to read 'Of Mice and Men' because it has a crap cover and an even crapper 'storyline'.

So the moral of the story? Always judge a book by it's cover, and you might just find a book you love. Unless it's my book which will of course be brilliant, no matter how bad the cover.

Philosophical Inclusions and McDonalds

Today I had the Philosophy paper of my Philosophy and Ethics GCSE. The paper is two hours long, you have to answer 12 essay questions about various philosophical topics (such as the nature of God, good and evil, life after death, the concept of the soul ect) and it is the one exam I've ever done and wanted there to be more questions as it's all so interesting to think about! Yes, I know, I'm a complete philosophy geek, but seriously, is there a more interesting subject? I will discover next year as philosophy A-level goes head-to-head with psychology A-level in the ultimate battle of interestingness (at a later date I will devise a point scoring system which I will update mentally as year 12 progresses).

But I digress, the important part of the exam today is that I achieved all the mini-goals I set for myself:

• Include the phrase 'hypostatic union' (I'm hoping for bonus marks),
• Write more pages than I did last year - I won, I wrote 13 A4 sides this time, beating last year's puny 12.
• Include all the Bible quotes I accidentally memorised.
• Include the word 'patriacy' - I've no idea why, but I've been wanting to say that a lot lately.
• Include the word travesty (my personal favourite word)
• Include the sneaky Dutch church's use of the Bible to justify the aparthide in South Africa.

So based on that, I'd say it was a sucessful exam! Oh, and something else I learnt today that shouldn't have been surprising: Cathy has only been to McDonald's twice. I guess she's just not a big fan of white american capitalist companies.

Is God Genderqueer?

A few nights ago (whilst I should have been revising for the dreaded french oral exam)(not as dirty as it sounds), it came to me that God must be genderqueer.

Genderqueer: Is either a different gender expression to the traditional two genders (male and female), or completely transends all gender expression.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of God always being refered to as a bloke. Surely, being God, so something other than the stuff we have on our planet, it's not likely to have a penis. I mean, what would God do with one? Remember the so called 'immacuate conception' and Mary be a virgin and all? Well I'm pretty sure a penis being involved with all that would have been in violation of those terms. However, I'm not saying that we should call God a woman either! I'm just of the slightly feminist belief that calling God, the supposed highest being that could possibly exist, a man is a little demeaning to women as it states that a man is the all round best thing, and I don't believe that is true as I think everyone is equal, regardless of sex and gender.

Which brings me nicely onto my point; is God genderqueer? I think yes, as it would be far to simplistic to assume that God would fit nicely into the traditional human views of gender. I mean God is almost completely unimaginable to the human mind, so I think its genderqueerness would be another trait that is hard for most people to think of. Also, I don't believe that a true omnibenevolent God would discriminate against either sex by being one or the other, and being an official supporter of 'Girl Power' or not.

But you know what the best bit is? I don't even believe in a God!