Football Only Looks Gay, and Other Viewing Weirdness

All this talk and watching of the football (or soccer if you're American) World Cup has put me in mind of some odd sport-viewing behavior. For example, why do people scream advice to the players at the TV screen? Newsflash: they're not gonna hear you! I know the managers do it and the players don't often hear them due to attack of the vuvuzalas, but at least they're actually on the edge of the pitch.

Another favourite of mine is people who, after a player makes a mistake, claim that they 'would've made that shot!' Ummm, no, I very much doubt that as you are a portly middle-aged man who used to play football at school, not a Rich Young Thing who gets paid millions to hone their game skills. My mother, the football Grand Master herself, does this an awful lot, with a helping of her 'just kick it!' advice on the side.

Also, what's up with all the touching on and off the pitch? Previously homophobic men who keep the world at arms length, suddenly hugging, kissing and rolling around with each other in what can only be described as a homoerotic display, similar to wrestling. Dudes, keep continuity - either always be touch-happy, or never be!

The final thing (for now) is how people can get so wound up about something that really doesn't involve them. I can understand the players and the off-pitch teams caring deeply about what happens, but that's because they have an actual involvement in the game. Most supporters have never met any of the teams they support so strongly, so why do they act like their lives and happiness depend on the next game?

So, football's a crazy little world like most other things. Personally, I can't wait for the women's world cup that the facist right-wing patriachial media appears to continually oppress. A shout out to Brazil, whom I'm supporting, cos South American teams really own the game. Happy Viewing!